“All the Single Ladies”

I read a Facebook post today from a (male) pastor offering advice to single women on how to “get a man”.  NEWS FLASH!!!  My singleness is not a malady that needs to be fixed.  I am not incomplete or less than human because I am not in some sort of relationship.  As a 51-year-old full-time student, the level of time and commitment (and vulnerability for that matter) that it takes to build a relationship with any substance and depth is more than I’m willing to sacrifice.  I’ve waited a long time to complete this educational journey that I started over 30 years ago.  I’ve worked hard and as the end is in sight, I’m not willing to get off track.  Why do people believe that if a woman is not in a relationship that she is less than a woman?  Honey I’m a whole lotta woman!  I’m a woman who inspires other women (younger and older) to chase their dreams.  I’m a woman who tells anyone who will listen that I am a walking talking example of “it’s never too late”.  I don’t feel like anything is missing in my life.  I am active in community theater, I am a spoken word artist that performs frequently, I am a poet/ author.  I don’t mind taking myself out to dinner or to a movie, because I know the value of my own company. I have a family, complete with the  most adorable grandchildren ever (yes, I am biased).  I have friends, male and female, and we do things together sometimes, but I don’t feel incomplete or that my life would be perfect if I “just had a man”.  While there will probably come a point that I will be ready for another relationship (I was married for almost 20 years), that point is not now. I got work to do, Kingdom Business. So please don’t try to fix my singleness.  I’m getting to know myself and becoming the best me that I can be.  If/when a man comes into my life and we build a relationship  he will be the icing on the cake.  Not the cake.  I’m the cake.  Most of the time people scrape off the icing and just eat the cake anyway.

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~ by Diva2de on April 4, 2014.

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