Solving for X

Let me preface this by saying I am in no way trying to disparage the positive outcomes that Iyanla Vanzant has had fixing people’s lives.  However as a student of psychology, meaning that I am currently enrolled in a program that will lead to a bachelor’s degree in psychology (and prepare me for graduate work), I had a couple of observations about how the whole session with DMX went down.  Again, these are my observations, not trying to evaluate Iyanla Vanzant as a psychologist at all.  The first thing I noticed is that he told her what DMX stands for.  Dark Man X.  She inquired about the darkness.  He said that he had been to the darkness, and that X stood for the unknown.  Right here I think he was metaphorically asking her to solve for X.  Find out what the unknown is to him.  What does it mean, how does it make him feel?  Is it causing distress and impairment in his life?  The answer to that is obvious to the person on the outside looking in, even an untrained eye, but he needed to answer those questions for himself.  In the middle of your mess you are often unable to see the forest for the trees.  The therapeutic environment should be such that he was able to explore the unknown.  He actually said what created the unknown.  Being sent to a group home at 7 years of age is what caused the unknown.  The darkness is everything that ensued, but it was created by the X.  He wanted to know why his mother sent him to a group home at such a young age.  There was a snippet with his mother where she said he was acting out in school and they advised her to do something.  Now, because I am a fan of DMX and I have read his book E.A.R.L. The Autobiography of DMX, I was aware of some information that he revealed regarding his mother and the introduction of other men in the home besides his father one of which beat him.  (Not casting aspersions on his mother in any way.)  Now, having said all that let me just throw one more thing out there.  Even though I am really not that great in algebra (understatement), I do know this.  When solving for X you cannot stop when you get X squared.  You must get the solution for X.  I believe with the show, we saw the solution for X squared, Xavier, the 2nd generation, but not completely to X (DMX).  Here’s what I see that, if I had been faced with that situation, and based on what I’ve learned so far, could’ve been tweaked a little.  While some theories hold that examining the childhood is not necessary there are others that acknowledge the importance of childhood in shaping the adult personality.  In this case I think a look into the childhood,( paying attention to the feelings of hurt and rejection that DMX experienced) would have been helpful to him because he needed to get to the bottom of the feelings of worthlessness that cause him to use drugs that stimulate the dopaminergic pathway. He feels bad about himself and he wants to feel good.  Of course drugs are not the answer and that can be addressed in subsequent therapy but the first step, I believe, is to look at the why.  Once that question is answered, not why his mother sent him to a group home, because he may never have a satisfactory answer to that question, but why he feels worthless, then some behavioral therapy could be introduced.  This would then of course teach ways to cope with  feelings without drugs.  I’m not saying that all of this would be easy, but I really think that DMX has something valuable inside him to give to the world.  As long as he’s trapped in the hate/hate relationship with himself he will be unable to do that.  I pray that he gets effective help soon.

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~ by Diva2de on April 17, 2013.

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