the best laid plans…

According to Robert Burns, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.  Women, we are not excluded! (laugh it was a joke)  In 1983 I left home.  I was an adult (or so I thought).  I had plans.  I joined the US Army.  I would retire in 20 years and still be young enough to enjoy life. I was 23.  That was my plan.  In 1984 I had a child. In 1986 I got married and quickly had 2 more.  In 1987 I separated from the US Army with a husband and 3 small children to take care of.  That was okay because we would live happily ever after, and when our kids were grown we would travel the world and dance in the kitchen in our underwear to old school hip hop and R&B ( you know, Kool Moe Dee, Chaka Khan and them).  In 2004 my marriage crumbled. I moved back home, and in 2005 I got divorced.    I was really an adult by this time.  I was bruised and battered by the world and needed a place to gather my nuts for the winter (so to speak).  Even though everything was different I still had a plan.  My oldest daughter was in college the other two were almost finished with high school and so when they got finished with high school it would be all about me.  I would continue at my decent job for a total of 5 years at which time I would have finished my degree and then I was off.  Still gonna get to travel the world and live my life like it’s golden.  Well here I am 9 years later still working at the same job, and still working on the degree.  Outwardly I’m not where I’d planned to be by this time in my adjusted and amended plan.  On the inside is another story.  The emotional, spiritual and intellectual growth that I’ve experienced while my plans were going awry is immeasurable.  And even though on paper I look like a total failure, I consider myself a phenomenal success.  I’ve learned to love and accept myself.  I’ve learned to accept that not everybody is going to love and accept me, and I’ve learned to K.I.S.S., K.I.M. and L.I.G.  Keep it simple (stupid), Keep it moving, and let it go.  I learned to love people even if they don’t love me and I’ve learned to serve God by serving His people.  Even this, writing down these crazy thoughts is a part of it.  Somebody somewhere, a woman, maybe my age, maybe younger, or maybe even a man, is reading these words that come from my head to my finger tips and finding strength to go on for one more day.  That’s why the plan remixes happened.  It’s not that your plans will change, it’s what you do with those changes that matter.


~ by Diva2de on January 30, 2013.

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