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I  spent the weekend with my youngest daughter helping her prepare for the arrival of her first child, my third grand child my second grand son.  Before I went to visit her I went by the storage to pick up some of her belongings to take them to her.  The minute I drove down the alley that leads to my storage unit # 188, I was transported back in time to the summer when I made me residence in the Salvation Army Homeless shelter.  I feel the need to reiterate that I was not in the shelter as some sort of social experiment or research.  I was there because I had nowhere else to go.  It’s amazing the things that you find comfort in when you have been stripped down to the bare bones of life.  The storage was a safe haven for me.  I spent many hours moving my belongings into it, moving my belongings around in it, changing my clothes in it, getting out of the rain in it.  I can remember the day that I finished moving my belongings into the storage building.  I was hot, tired and sweaty and I sat on the front seat of my car, wondering what I would do next and I cried like I hadn’t cried since my mother died.  I cried because of the loss not of material things, because they are replaceable, I cried for what I thought I had lost.  I cried because I had no address, I cried because I thought that being homeless would cause me to cease to exist.  Oh how wrong I was.  Being homeless, taught me to really live.  It taught me to be grateful for things that I took for granted.  It taught me the value of sound decision-making, it taught me the necessity of living within my means.  It taught me that you can’t live without a budget.  It taught me that if I am who I say I am, then it doesn’t matter where I am.  I am a child of the Most High God.  He watches over me night and day.  While some would think that my being homeless is proof that I’m deluding myself about Him watching over me, I know that even in that He was working all things together for my good ( Romans 8:28).  God loves me so much that He knew what it would take  for me to yield to His plan for my life.  He needed to get my attention and so He allowed some very uncomfortable situations to arise in my life.  The whole time He put a safety net in place for me.  I saw what it did to the minds of some of the women who were very much like me.  Women who had worked all their lives, who were married once but divorced, who had always provided for themselves, who believed that they could always make things work.  I saw them start to lose hope and become bitter and angry with God and the world.  I saw them look for someone else to blame for their situation.  Am I trying to indicate that I think I’m better than them? No way!  I started out angry and wanted to become bitter but because I know who I am and in Whom I put my trust, I was reminded of Peter walking on the water.  When Peter and the other disciples saw Jesus coming to them walking on the water Peter said, “Lord, if it’s you, let me come to you.”  (of course I’m paraphrasing)  Jesus said, “Come.”  Peter walked on the water but then Peter started to pay attention to his situation and circumstances.  There was water and wind and waves and maybe even some lightning and thunder.  Peter took his eyes off Jesus and paid attention to his surroundings and that’s when he started to sink.  I made a decision that if a homeless Shelter was the place that God needed to use to get my attention, then I would keep my attention on Him.  That is how I made through 44 days living in a homeless shelter.  That is why I call that my summer adventure.  I learned how to trust God in a whole new way.  The doubts that I secretly harbored in my heart that God truly cared about a little nobody like me, were wiped out.  It’s funny, the things that God can use to get His point across. His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.  And so I continue to praise Him, and remind myself, that anybody at anytime can find themselves in a situation that is beyond their reach.  I’m so glad I have a safety net.

 So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous,[a he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”     Matthew 14: 29-31

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.   Isaiah 55:9


~ by Diva2de on January 14, 2013.

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