I am tired. I…

I am tired.  I’m tired of being tired of being tired.  I’m tired of never being enough or too much or not fitting in or being overwhelming or people thinking i talk too much or people saying I think too much or me just being too much for some people.  I’m tired of dumbing down so that other people won’t feel bad around me.  Am I a genius? No, but I love to know things so to that end I seek knowledge.  Do I know everything? No, but I know things that I want to know.  I love words and the way they are spelled and their meanings and the way they look next to other words.I like how they sound.  I like the way the word SOUND sounds.  I like being able to string words together in an unusual way that makes them sound (SOund SoUNd Souuund) musical.  I am tired of people saying I’m too deep or too shallow.  I’m just my dadbum self! And sometimes that’s talkative and sometimes it’s quiet and sometimes its extemporaneous and sometimes it’s mellifluous and sometimes it’s stagnant and depressed and fat and lazy and greedy and lonely and devoid of emotion.  And sometimes it’s just nothing.  It’s just me, being me, being me.  I’m just tired of the people who don’t get it.  Have you ever thought that maybe you’re not supposed to get it?  Maybe I’m just me, because that’s what I’m supposed to be and all that it entails.  Nappy and lumpy and booby and bootylicious and sometimes my breath stinks. So FREAKIN WHAT.  I have learned to love myself all the ways that I am, and if you don’t too bad for you because you are missing out on some awesome randomness.  Yep.

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~ by Diva2de on April 10, 2012.

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