New Beginnings

They say seven is the number of new beginnings. Ok I’ll buy that. It was seven years ago that I got the courage to end a very painful chapter in my life. Change is never easy but mostly always worth it. So today, on Seven seven eleven, I embark on another change. For more reasons that I care to recount, I gave up on myself. I decided somewhere in the back of this fragmented brain of mine that my time could be better spent on things and pursuits that would benefit other people. Yes I have returned to school and am 3 semesters away from my degree in psychology, but that’s not for me. That’s so that I can help women, like me (broken by the pain of the past) find healing. Yes I am a licensed preacher but that too is for the Cause of Christ. Not something that I chose but that chose me and I am compelled to do. So I stopped caring about how I look and what I wear and what I put into my body. I’ve felt safe fading into the background. It’s easy to be on stage because people don’t see me they see a character I portray. And when I read my poetry people get a glimpse of my mind and forget what it’s encased in. I’ve hidden because it created distance between me and the rest of the world. If nobody gets close enough to hurt me then that’s been fine by me. Until today. Today, I’ve decided that it’s time to re-enter the world without hiding behind jokes and characters and well put together prose. One day at a time, little by little, I must return to living instead of merely existing. So look out world, here I come with all the spice and sass of a 48 year old formerly narcissistic currently psychodivalicious preacher poet Nanawoman. Wait’ll they get a load a me!

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~ by Diva2de on July 7, 2011.

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